Thursday, May 08, 2003
Yeah so maybe you cant see the "Warning message graphic here, but click on it anyway. Then go to Acerbia. Why? Because I told you to.
Wednesday, May 07, 2003
My mother basically just called me crazy. There was an advertisement for a show about “the greatest actors of all time” and I told her my Maurice chevalier theory. To me, he seems like the black sheep of Santa Claus’ family. Like Santa Claus’ worldly and almost naughty brother. Is that weird? She told me ont to let peopel hjear me saying things like that. Then she asked if I had said that to anyone before and I said I thought I’d told Ben. She figured he had some weird ideas anyway but said to keep my strangeness to myself from now on. Haha. Then I just made fun of her church habits.When we are at church my mother has a habit of reading the liturgy overloudly. It’s worse when she’s reciting the communion prayer lately. Last Sunday she began reading with such fervor that it scared everything out of me. I actually took a flying leap away from her to the left and gasped. I suppose it wasnt the best display of church manners. After the prayer was done I skipped communion and slunk out the back door.
Monday, May 05, 2003
I think I just hit "Empty" and need to recharge. My brain feels jolly buggered out.I have a compulsion to use the word dude and repeat the last letter of a word multiple times in an online, stoned, cali drawl.
Like, dude, get it mannnnnn...?
Well I am really exhausted and rathre grumpy now.
I woke up (after sleeping almost not at all) at 4:30. My 15-or-so-mins-ahead alarm clock was set for 455am. I began walking to school at about 5:26 or so. I'm really not sure. The chosen path went from the farrrr northeast corner of Duarte to Denny's for Hashbrowns ("Country Fried Potatoes" wuheva' )and then to Starbucks wherein I got Chai. I arrived at school somewhere around 720 and B and I talked to Elise until Cassie arrived and then we went to KBBs paprie nest to sit thru the coutdown to 8am.
I was very very awake and thinking during the test. Everthing was good. After the break I was hyper even.
I think I did aiiite. I think my multiple choice was pretty good (finished w about 3 mins to spare and only left one blank) and that my essays didnt suck much. I don't remember how I felt last time though so I'm not sure about anything yet.
L and N and B and I went to Jack in the Box and so errthing was cool, N and B and I went on a Crusade (lol, N- the reference is intended) to get her Kvn a grad gift. Wallmart was...target only weirder and target was ... well wallmart only shiny and Barnes & Noble was.... perverse.
But then I got home and felt exhausted and reallyreally wanted to sleep. then at at 830 it happened.
The chai left my bloodstream.
I totally crashed and everything and anything about my house and family therein was irritating the everything out of me. The radio was badly tuned, the TV was staticky and shrill, my father was underfoot and messing with the comp while I was on it, my mother wouldnt stop talking at me about something involving the evils of Russia, my sisters couldnt do anything themselves, Katmandu and Estragon/Estrogen were constantly at odds under my feet, my hair was brushing my neck.... Yes I was (still kinda am) that annoyed with the world. My own hair was assaulting me and I was very very angry at it.
Finally I just walked away from my mother and got in my nightie and brought out my good ignore-the-world headphones and found an internet radio station for 60s rock. It's helping greatly. so far it's been the Doors and the Beatles and the Monkees and the Byrds... and other people I dont remember. It doesnt matter reallly. It's just mellowing me out. I dont feel like killing as many people anymore...
